In these times, when our financial situation has not improved, our mental health suffers greatly. Despite my best efforts to find another writing job, and placing dozens of online applications, I have had no luck. My husband still works day and night, Monday through Saturday, with little return. He barely earns enough money for our rent. He still searches for other clients, and meanwhile, builds his own website tirelessly, hoping that his dream will bring our success.
While we have had arguments due to overworked, overstressed minds, it seemed to have brought us closer this past week or so. Despite our mutual depression, we have taken shelter in each other’s presence. We’re vibrating at the same frequency.
Today, simultaneously, we both felt a sharp pang of despair. He was working in the next room, and I was laying down nursing a headache. Neither of us verbally communicated what we had felt, right away – but suddenly he came to me. He lay down next to me, sighing. After a few minutes of silence, he asked me, “What is our destiny..?”
I asked him if he was feeling bad, and when he said yes, I told him I had been feeling the same. I began telling him our story, our future story, yet to be written. Conversation roused thereafter, and ended in smiles and laughter, and that was enough. To see my husband smile, and to laugh with him was enough.
We got up and went on with our evening.
As soon as I started to think about our problems, he would find a way to make me laugh instead. If he noticed my expression change, he would say, “Don’t think about it.”
The more I thought about it all, the more my head hurt. I had been struggling to find meaning in our daily routine, to be stress-free when we hardly have money to buy food, let alone go anywhere. I leave the house maybe once every two weeks. Partially due to depression, but mostly because we have no money to go anywhere. Not even for the metro. We are at our lowest, right now.
Meanwhile, my husband, as stressed as I am, is giving me a shoulder to lean on. And because of him, I realized just how hard we are working to give meaning to our life, despite our greatest obstacle. In these difficult times, we have only each other – and I’ve discovered that this is our greatest strength. Our greatest gift. When we have nothing, we still have everything. We are hand-in-hand, forging our own happiness. He is my hero.
But this does not trivialize our struggles… It simply makes the journey through them a little more endurable.
Featured image by Mathias Miranda via Flickr.com