From Motherhood, With Love

From Motherhood, With Love

The journey I’ve been on is unlike any other I have faced. I could never have known what it would be like, no matter how much I read and prepared. I was (and still am) filled to the brim with love, and yet, I was thrust into the darkest depths of postpartum anxiety and depression. But that story is for another time. These five months have been a glorious adventure full of love and bonding.

I can’t fully describe what has changed. I feel stronger, more resilient. Less tolerant of unnecessary suffering and injustice. More powerful. I feel closer to the source.
I see the Goddess in the eyes of my daughter. I am honored to be her mother.

We spend our days teaching and entertaining each other. I’m so impressed with her growth and eagerness to learn. She can sit with help, stand with help, she babbles and coos, laughs and plays. Amused by colors and sounds. She loves to listen when I speak and she especially loves when I read books to her. She sings when she keeps herself entertained, and she loves to be sang to.

It has been hard to be away from my husband, and harder for him, I am sure, to be away from his daughter. One thing after another has put off our return, but I am hopeful that we will be in India at the end of this month or beginning of February.
I can’t be sure of how things will unfold when we return, and what our life will be like as a family, but rewarding challenges always await. We will be staying in Jhansi with my husband’s family. A difficult move that we should have made long ago.

I am happy to be back. Until next time! β™₯


4 thoughts on “From Motherhood, With Love

  1. Crystal, I’m so happy to read about your family. You both will ne great back in India with daddy πŸ™‚ I wish you a wonderful time ahead! See you soon!


  2. I don’t think I should say this because it your life, but I feel that relocating to Jhansi would not be a good move. The opportunities that are available in Delhi for both of you, may not be available there, now that you are parents. It would be difficult to stay put in Delhi but with patience things would turn around. No offense meant. Best of luck.


    1. Ah, we’ve had this conversation before! We’ve tried Delhi, it was a really unfortunate experience. When one thing doesn’t work, we can only move on.
      As much as I loved being in Delhi, and knowing Jhansi is going to be challenging, it’s our best bet.
      We’ll be living with his family, though on the first floor, in our own space. We will not have to pay rent, so all of our earned money will be saved.


  3. Hi Crystal, I experienced a similar situation a few years ago … I had to finish my pregnancy at my parents home in Canada because I was too weak in India (vomiting, insomnia, money troubles, etc). So I delivered my son away from my husband. I was able to go back to India when my son was 11 months old, (because of many things) so his father could see him for the first time in person. It was a tough test in my life. Now my boy is 4 years old! And a lot happened! Glad to read you.


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